The Christian: "God moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. It's not for us to question His will which is beyond our puny understanding. And we must have unquestioning faith in the Lord" (Sure, sure. There, there. You'll be all right presently.)
The Muslim: "How dare you say anything that goes against the teachings of Prophet Muhammad, Peace Be Unto Him? Blasphemer!" (Note that whether what you said actually goes against Muhammad's teachings isn't even open to discussion.)
The Jew: "Anti-Semite! Holocaust Denier!" (LMAO)
The Hindu: "You see, this is because of what's written in the Upanishads and because these people did bad things in their past lives, which is why they are suffering in this life, and this is their fate. Also this is our Indian Culture." (This word "culture" is misused so often by Hindus I'm going to barf.)
The Buddhist: "His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, in the context of karmic cycles..." (Since I don't even consider the Dalai Lama to be a Buddhist - he's a lamaist usurper - I stop listening as soon as they take his name.)
The Bushist: "Liberal! Islamofascist! Terrorist supporter! Anti-Semite! Holocaust Denier!"
The Bill (the Butcher): "Go and get locked up, already? Please? All of you? There's this nice little sanatorium without any attached gas chambers..."
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