This blog contains material I wrote and posted on between the years 2005 and 2011 only. It does not contain any new material. For newer writing, please check my main blog (Bill the Butcher).

Friday, 12 October 2012

The Space Squid Cometh

Attention, my brethren, and my sisters.

I must share with you the portents of dreadful doom that seize and consume me...for I alone of all humanity am privy to this dreadful information, this terrible, incredible scourge facing us all.

Oh my friends, repent, and put on your coats of sackcloth and smear yourself with ashes; for lo, through the infinite firmament of space, He is coming. Yes, He, the Swallower of worlds, the Colossal Squid of Space himself, reaching out with His tentacles for planets and stars and worlds to destroy.

And oh my friends, mired as you are in sin, as I am myself, understand this: that no force in existence can deflect Him from His mighty Purpose, for  to Him we are all as a snail whose shell he might crack, yes, and He is hungry.

Can you imagine Him, so large that the light from His end reacheth not His beginning before the end hath changed; so large that the stars and planets he hath swallowed shine through his skin like coals. Can you see the mighty Beak with which he shall crush our world? No? You shall, my friends, you shall.

What are our chances of salvation? None, unless we shall now flee this our home world and hurl ourselves yea headlong into the Cosmos, to find whatever new home awaiteth us.

I am therefore saving the genetic code and germ plasm of each pair of animal and plant that liveth on the earth or below it, or swimmeth in the rivers and the oceans, yea, and the fowls of the air by sevens; for when His mighty Wrath hath shattered this world into another Asteroid Belt, I shall be yea far away. You may laugh now, my friends, and yet the time cometh, very soon, sooner than you will allow.

We shall flee this planet, and find a new world somewhere, and we shall build anew, and we shall give that world a name fit for a new beginning.

It shall be Ararat.

(There are still tickets avaiable...apply to my sons: to Shem for information, Ham for reservation and Japeth for payment. Thank you.

                                                     Ebenezer Noah)

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